Neglecting Things You Love

Another contribution to my dear blog, bring on the mentions of "I love the way you write Amber, but the content could be more topical" well, thank you very much for the compliment and I just might write that book you suggested I write over christmas, Uncle Tim. BUT this ones for me (like the other 11 other posts) Notwithstanding, I would not be apposed to the idea of this inspiring someone. Loose track of 2019 New Years Resolutions, think more along the pathway of "that made me happy, so I'm going to do more of it, for me and only me".

So, the things I love to do yet out of my own stupidity, neglected, and got caught up in the business of daily life, to a great degree that would consist of: planning a wedding, buying a house and soon to be starting a new job, Communications for the Diocese of Chichester, how terribly exciting! Oh and exchanging cars. I think that about covers my life, for now! Never a dull moment with the future Mrs Bradford, in the second half of 2018, i've without a doubt come to the crystal clear realisation that I just can't do things by halves. Whether that is accidental or all me. I am a walking three shot cappuccino, in a constant whirlwind of effortless chaos, sugar coated with heels and lipstick.

1. Photography

I did a degree in this, why on earth would I forget I love it? Because I got bored of it at university? Obsessed with being the best and not thinking I was good enough? Thought graphic design or videos was what I wanted to do? Thinking I had to specialise otherwise people would think I was wishy washy? The truth is, it is a combination and I cower at these realisations. I love creating content, need I say much more?

2. Weight Lifting

Loosing sight of the one thing I would screech home for in my Rav4, making time for it come rain or shine, before catching feelings aka now in the form of my fiancé! Was the gym. Regardless of whether I should or should not, I beat myself up every time I look in the mirror for skimping on the gym this last year and a half. All my hard work over 4+ years has evaporated. Now it wasn't just a boy that withdrew me, I could include factors such as: third year of university! If you've never had this experienced, it is hard to put eloquently, aside from your brain hurting so much from reading theory after theory, being on the computer 7am-2am consequently dreading any other screen time, merely getting by on caffeine, diet coke and southern fried chicken, endless designs that get put in Apples audible trash can or more specifically: screenshot > put in a process book > scrapped and in my case the 4 week strike my teachers decided was acceptable, despite me paying £27,000, but we shan't go there!

As ever, writing blog posts help me express what is revolving in my ever frantic brain and forces me to reflect and consider from how good my cup of coffee is to where the heck my life is going. What I want to improve on, to change, to adapt, a new challenge I want to set myself, where I want to be in five years time. Blogging is my therapy and does more good for me then I would have ever anticipated. So, go on then! It is 30th December - heres a 2019 Resolution for traditions sake.

2019

I promise to myself, once a month, to sit down and jot down one heap of "blar, blar, blar", for not your entertainment but for my lifes sake! Thereafter, if my writing is enhanced in the affair, smashing!

Happy 2019!

Love Amber xxx